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REPORT FROM THE AWP 2015 COSTUME PARADE AND BALL

Last night I attended the first annual AWP Costume Parade and Ball. Prizes were given for best-all-around, most creative, and best team costumes. I didn’t win a prize, but I did get a bad burn on my face when a man dressed as George Eliot threw a lit candle at me when I pointed out that George Eliot was actually the pen name of a woman named Mary Ann Evans.

“You think I don’t know that?” the guy said. “I’m a fucking tenured professor at an Ivy League school. It’s in Boston. That’s all I’ll say.”

AWP DISPATCH 1: SAVE THESE BABY CHICKS

Usually, I love the bookfair at AWP for one reason: the stink of desperation. Endless aisles, table after table, all these people sitting there increasingly glassy-eyed, hoping for someone to care. To come check out their chapbooks or website or the benefits of the low residence MFA they’re offering. The desperation is so thick—especially by the end of the second day of the conference—that it’s probably irresponsible of the organizers not to have trays of Xanax set out by the exits and psychological specialists available for on the spot consultations in the lobby.

10 Tried and True Tips For Fighting Writer's Block

1.Try revising your draft as if someone who wasn’t a totally worthless, talentless hack was writing it.
2.Relax, remind yourself that no one who ever wrote anything worth a damn ever got blocked, and start researching trade schools in your area.
3.Find a work of literature that really inspires you and throw it in the garbage because you don’t deserve the pleasure of reading and all that inspiration was clearly some kind of illusion.

Harpercollins has released this 'word cloud teaser' of the first chapter of Lee's highly anticipated sequel to 'To Kill A Mockingbird.' The announcement of this book's mid-summer release has got people talking, and based on this teaser I have a feeling that talk is only going to get more and more uproarious

Harpercollins has released this \'word cloud teaser\' o

8 Literary Predictions for 2015

Jonathan Franzen’s new novel, due in the Fall, will miss its release date after Franzen becomes addicted to the PS Vita he got for Christmas and fails to finish the thing.

Kanye West will win the Ruth Lilly Poetry Prize, not for his lyrics but for the way he moves through the world.

Jonathan Lethem will be imprisoned after hijacking a city bus and forcing the terrified passengers to endure a nine-hour lecture on Philip K Dick’s use of the word ‘the’ in Valis.

Editorial board

Failbetter's editorial board is comprised of:

Editor/Publisher
Thom Didato (founding)

Managing Editor
Joe Woods

Fiction Editors
Amira Pierce
Thomas Batten

Poetry Editor
Audrey Walls

Director of Development
Katy Resch

Arts Editor
[Vacant]

Social Media Editor
[Vacant]

A Brief History of the Author Bio

30,000 BP (Before Present)—The first recorded Author Bio is created by a caveman in the Chauvet Caverns who, upon realizing that taking credit for a recently completed tableau depicting a successful hunting expedition might increase his sexual prospects amongst the female members of his tribe, mashes his paint-stained palm against a cave wall.

A Proposed Solution to the American Poetry Problem

Where once the poetic community bemoaned a lack of readership, recently the problem has shifted—too many Americans are now endeavoring to produce poetry of their own. In a world where everyone considers themselves capable poets, artists with actual merit risk finding themselves subsumed in static, or worse, demonized as being no better than these poseurs.

How do YOU celebrate Bloomsday?

If you’re anything like us (and you are, we checked) you wait all year for June 16th, better known as Bloomsday, the day that everyone everywhere celebrates all things James Joyce and Ulysses. It’s like St. Patrick’s Day, except with staged readings, scenic tours, and pretension instead of binge drinking. This year we thought it’d be fun to do a sort of informal survey to see how people around town celebrate in their own way. Enjoy.

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